Growing Pains
When I was little, my best friend Lauren used to complain about growing pains. Although I was envious of her height, I definitely did not wish for the pain involved in this rapid growth. But as I reflect on my life these past 14 months, I realized that in my own way, I have been experiencing growing pains. And these aren't the kind of pains you can alleviate with a few Tylenol. In several distinct areas of my life I have felt God gently--and not so gently--tugging to get my attention. God uses such clear methods, yet so often we skim over them like a particularly dull story. It’s not that I didn’t notice God’s intervention in my life; but I was so caught up in the events that it just took me an incredibly long time to connect the pieces. But I know that in order to experience fruitful growth, I need to be willing to endure the painful process it requires. I am beginning to see that if I really want to abide in Christ and experience that deep level of fellowship, then I need to make sure that I am growing in the right direction. I have plans for my life; I have dreams and aspirations and desires and demands. God has plans for my life as well. The difference is that His plans are far better than my wildest expectations. This year God has been whittling away all the directions of my life that I have been trying to take on my own. Some have been close to the mark, but not quite what He had in mind. Other areas require more drastic, painful guidance because I have strayed so far away. Although the experience can be agonizing at times, I know that God’s guidance is far more enjoyable than where my stubborn desires will lead. So here I stand: hurting but in a strange way happy. I am not particularly happy with what I have had to go through these past months, but I am enjoying the closeness it has brought between myself and God. And I know that the more I submit to His discipline and direction, the closer He will draw me.