On the news yesterday I heard about this woman who ran over her ex-boyfriend. They had just broken up and I guess she was pretty ticked at him because as he stepped off the sidewalk into a parking space somewhere in their town, she swerved and tried to run him down, yelling all the while, "I want to kill you". I guess self-control and 600 miles really are therapeutic for terminated relationships!

Finding the Balance in Staying Alive
So I think I subliminally have a death wish out for myself. I either get 4 hours of sleep or 14 (neither of which are very healthy), my eating habits are sporadic at best...it's a good thing there are others in the house with me to make meals, otherwise I'm sure I'd never eat an entire meal. It's not that I'm trying to starve myself or anything (just looking at me will tell you that that idea would never work!) I'm just never hungry anymore. Plus, I'm either on my feet working all day or sitting on the couch reading all day. I'm starting to have this perpetual tingly/dizzy feeling, like you get when you have a fever, and I'm starting to think that maybe I should try to get my butt in gear and try to maintain a normal lifestyle. Oh well...only one more month until the wonderful organization of college. But honestly, if I'm this bad at home, I better find a roommate or husband after school, cause I don't think I'll survive living on my own!

*sigh* you know it's going to be a long day when you try to stick the cereal box in the fridge

My Nana gave my mom a bunch of her dishes when she was down in VA visiting her. This weekend my mom got all ambitious and cleaned the kitchen cabinets and re-organized the dishes. The problem is, after she dusted, she put all the dishes right back in the cabinets. So my dad was eating lunch yesterday and asked me to smell his water...he said it smelled too flowery. I thought maybe my mom's perfume had rubbed off onto the glass, and then she laughingly told us it was probably just because she dusted and all the glasses are upside down in the cabinets. My dad (who's an environmental management consultant), refused to drink another sip, excitedly (and half jokingly) claiming that it probably has carcinogens in it and that the EPA will most likely ban it next week. So now I'm washing all our cups so that I won't be stuck drinking "laundry fresh" lemonade or milk or whatever. ...I think my mom may be trying to kill us all off to get some peace and quiet ;)

Tales from a Tollbooth Attendant
So I work at the tollbooth on the major highway in NH. Yes, laugh all you want. But it is a mindless state job, and like all mindless state jobs, it pays way more than the effort requires. The job has its "interesting" points, like getting called "gorgeous" or "hunny" by half the old, gross truckers, or trying to explain to people where the airport is after they've told you that they've been up & down the state 4 times already. This weekend is the Nascar Winstin Cup series, so traffic is crazy. Tonight I worked in one of the automatic lanes. (It's quicker if we take the money from the people instead of having the slowpokes who come to a complete stop & throw the tokens in one at a time and then sit there waiting for the light to turn green). But I was surprised at how many people glared at me, pulled their hand away, and reached around me to throw the coins in the bucket themselves. As if it's that big a deal! I guess driving is so boring now that drivers want any excitement they can get. People are strange creatures.

Adapted from one of my GCC application essays...for those of you looking for "better" posts =)

I pulled the shawl closer to my body as the cool night air whispered around me. The moon shone brightly over the gorgeous July night. Leaning against the cold stone wall, I looked out over the square. My eyes scanned past the crowds of people and toward the Western Wall. Behind it was the illuminated Dome of the Rock, which sat defiantly on top of the Temple Mount. I paused at the top of the stairs for what seemed like an eternity, allowing the mental picture to fully seep into my mind. I wanted to savor every moment of this experience.
Eventually I made my way down the steps and into the courtyard. It was Friday night: Shabbot. It seemed as if the entire Jewish Quarter of Jerusalem had come down to celebrate the beginning of their Sabbath. I paused for a few moments in the middle of the courtyard to observe the different faces passing by. Hassidic Jews strode briskly across the courtyard, their long dark curls bouncing as they walked. There were also many Jewish families walking down together. Some of them were experiencing the sight of the Wall for the first time in their lives. I imagine that their faces had the same awe-struck look mine held.
Making my way down to the partitioned area I watched various groups of Jews gather to worship, trying my best to soak in everything. To one side was the designated worship area for men. I gazed out over the sea of bodies. Some men were deep in prayer; because of Shabbat, most had gathered with family and were singing, dancing, and celebrating. Tearing my gaze from the scene, I looked across to the women's section. Before the Wailing Wall stood countless women praying in a fashion that I had never seen or experienced before. Their whole bodies were rocking back and forth as they held their prayer booklets. Some were whispering prayers while others were fervently calling out; but many were at the point of breaking down. They were crying and praying at the same time, and their pleas came out in short sobs and loud moans.
The whole scene was staggering. I took a moment to sit down and reflect on what I had seen. That night, amidst all the singing, crying, and praying, God taught me a lesson that would drastically affect my beliefs and attitude of worship. I was completely surrounded by a people who worshiped with a fiery passion; who served God with such a desire in their hearts! The only thought in my mind at the time was how much more I should be worshiping God and proclaiming His love because of the truth that has set me free.
At the Western Wall, on that one summer evening, God revealed Himself to me in a very unique way. I was able to see Him through the eyes of the Jewish worshipers. That night was the spark that ignited something deep inside of me. In that evening, I began to understand God's passion for the lost. I started to see His desire to have bold witnesses for Him in other countries and desired to share an active part in His eternal plan. It has been two years since I have felt the smooth surface of those stones. My greatest desire is that one day I will be able to return to that place of worship and to the old city that I now consider home.

A big congrats to Elizabeth, who just passed her Master's defense!

Well, I was going to write about the latest new & exciting thing in my life, but then I realized that nothing new or exciting has happened lately. So, dear readers, I want to hear about what's new & exciting in your lives! And maybe some of you silent readers who never post will be brave enough to share. =)

"Boys are stupid...let's throw rocks at them"

Can you believe that the summer is already halfway over?!

19th Century Novel summer reading update:
Books read: Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Mansfield Park, A Christmas Carol, Great Expectations
Books left to read: Barchester Towers, Middlemarch, The Woman in White, The Return of the Native, Alice In Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass, The Way of All Flesh, The Moonstone

The past is a funny thing. You have no control over it in the present, and yet I find that it usually affects the future. Why? Why do I always dwell on the past--both good and bad--and why do I let it control my life so much? Sometimes I wish I could start over; wipe the slate clean. I'd really rather not remember my mistakes, and in the end no one really cares that much about your past successes. Yeah, I know what you're all thinking. We can always learn from the past and if we do forget about our mistakes, we're destined to repeat them. I just wish I could figure out how to remember and move on at the same time.