Dandelions by Me
She watched her dandelion vigilantly now.
It had slowly sprouted through the lush carpet of vegetation
And was now standing erect: tall and proud;
A symbol of defiance and hope
In its world of monotony and bleakness.

Her Father had told her he would have to kill it.
In the back of her mind, she knew it was the right and inevitable thing to do.
But her eyes welled with tears as the helpless plant was burrowed out
Until the very heart of the plant had been torn from its home and ripped apart.
For several minutes she sat there in numb shock.

Seeing the limp, lifeless weed, the girl’s tears hardened to ice.
Who needed that stupid flower anyway?
Not her. She had better ways to spend her summer afternoons.
She was glad it was dead—glad it was out of sight.
Now there would be room for her flowers.

Turning away, she began to weep again.
That dandelion was her flower.
She had nurtured it, cherished it, and loved every minute of its life.
But there was no way to undo the past.
Her Father looked on her with eyes that mirrored her pain.

The girl began to reflect on the future.
Would she ever nurture another flower?
Her mind told her yes, but her heart screamed no.
How could she put so much effort into such a fragile existence
If it was going to betray her like that?

She tried to blame her Father;
To blame the dandelion;
To blame herself.
But in the end, she couldn’t—
They had all suffered.

There would be other flowers,
But she wasn’t ready to think about that now.
The intense feelings of pain and anguish would not leave,
But she didn’t want to dwell on the pain just yet.
This dandelion would always hold a special place in her heart.

The girl climbed into her Father’s lap
And curled up in His arms.
For now, it was enough to know
That He had done what was best
For her and for the dandelion.

Si six cents six scies scient six cent six saucissons, c'est sain?

Oh, and it's snowing here. Like a real snowflurry, not just a few spitting flakes. Yay snow!

A great article from my home newspaper about the media & Sept. 11 HERE

Rainy Rainy Saturday by Jack Prelutsky
It's Saturday, and what a pain
No school today, but lots of rain
And mother says that when it pours,
"The weather's bad, so stay indoors!"
I would rather go out in the yard.
But no, it's raining much too hard.
So I will sit inside and play
On this rainy, rainy Saturday.

Well, Fall Break is over. Today has been pretty cold and rainy. Everyone else is complaining about the typical Grove City weather, but I think it's great (reason #273 that I'm crazy). I think e.e. cummings would've related. After all, he described a good day as being "mud-luscious" and "puddle-wonderful". So I hope everyone has a puddle-wonderful day!

Grace for the Moment by Max Lucado (October 22 entry)
A Crisp View of God
There is a window in your heart through which you can see God. Once upon a time that window was clear. Your view of God was crisp. You could see God as vividly as you could see a gentle valley or hillside. Then, suddenly, the window cracked. A pebble broke the window. A pebble of pain. And suddenly God was not so easy to see. The view that had been so crisp had changed. You were puzzled. God wouldn't allow something like this to happen, would he? When you can't see him, trust him...Jesus is closer than you've ever dreamed. (from In the Eye of the Storm)
Psalm 138:7
"Lord, even when I have trouble all around me, you will keep me alive."

Here at GCC, if you decide to stay a 5th year to finish your studies (or as Mrs. Paxon would like to think, to further your search for "that special someone"), then you are labeled as a "Super-Senior". I have decided that due to the fact that I am as old as the majority of Sophomores and even some of the Juniors, I should be considered a "Super-Freshman".

An email from my Dad:
"Hi Natural Resource! My Father's daily calendar in my bathroom had this quote for today: "Children are our most precious natural resource." Herbert Hoover. Hmmmm. So why did they name a big dam in the desert after him?? Ponder that one."

Fall Break. I have been a college student for 2 whole months now. And ya know, it didn't really hit me until last week. I was walking across campus for my 8am Humanities class and it was absolutely gorgeous out! And I was thinking to myself, "well, it's certainly not as great as New Hampshire, but PA's not a bad place to go to college". I froze. I don't know why things don't click in my brain right away. But it finally hit me (and actually meant something)...I am a college student. I've always thought of college as being this far away cool part of my life where I'll be so grown up and have lots of work and lots of fun. And I went to college and sort of went through all the motions knowing, but never really making the connection, that it had finally happened. But there in the 40 degree chilly morning, something flicked the switch in my mind and I really realized that I was a college student. It was the weirdest and yet the coolest feeling to know that I've come so far. At this point in my life, I feel more like a spectator, watching from some disconnected point of view. Life is running by at breakneck speed and it takes all I have to keep up. It is exhilarating and confusing and exhausting and wonderful all at once.

Have you ever had a conversation with yourself over IM? I have been doing that for the past half hour or so, and it has been a very theraputic (and arguably crazy) experience. I yelled at myself, I consoled, I advised, and I rambled about things that I don't talk about with other people because they just wouldn't understand. Maybe I am crazy. I'm sure some of you are reaching for the business cards of your psychiatrist friends as you read this. But ya know what I found? I am a very good listener (and I mean that in a completely non-split personality kind of way). Spitting out all my thoughts and feelings and everything that's been jumbled up in my head really helped me to sort them out and make some sense of what I'm feeling. Plus, it was yet another way I kept from doing my homework (which was my original goal). Hmmm.....that gives me an idea....

LOL...this is too funny. I'd explain it, but it's better off being left alone. THE FLAT EARTH SOCIETY: Deprogramming the masses since 1547

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! It's happening again! I'm stuck in a rut. For the past several weeks I have been getting 85% on almost every single test, quiz, paper, assignment, etc. It's not that I'm complaining about the grade. I have friends in Bio and Engineering who would kill to be getting consistent Bs. The point is I HATE the monotony of it all! This happened to me for about a month my Junior year of high school with the same exact grade. It is driving me crazy...I think I have some issues I need to work out in life.

Last night was the Five Iron Frenzy concert. For those of you who don't know who FIF is, I now disown you as friends! Okay, well, maybe not, but you really are missing out on life. FIF is a Christian ska band. They're the kind that you either hate or love. I love them because, well, I love weird music. Plus they make fun of stuff like America's desire to convert the world to our culture, the stupid rumors their fans start on the internet about their band members dying, the awesomeness of Canada & milk in a bag and also most of their albums have at least one secret song at the end. So when I found out that a group of Grovers was going to Canton, OH, I knew I just HAD to go. Plus, I'd never been to OH, so it would be an exciting adventure. If only I had know...
There were 14 of us going. 4 went in a very nice sports car with one Senior and the rest of us were stuck in an old station wagon ('87 I was told). The girl driving was an okay driver, but had trouble adjusting to the feel of the big car and the fact that it was weighed down with 10 people (I think it was only supposed to hold 7). The people who were supposed to be navigating couldn't even figure out how to get to the highway, but luckily Katie lives in Ohio, and she was a great help. So I'm sure for at least the first 45 minutes we looked like we might be a possible DUI suspect. We stopped for gas (wouldn't want to run out on the highway), and headed out towards Ohio. I was busy chatting about random silly things with Katie & Emily when suddenly "Hey, is it a bad thing if the oil light goes on?" After a few minutes of debate, we decided it probably wasn't a good thing, so we pulled over on the side of the road. After checking the oil and realizing that it was almost completely dry, we unloaded the people in the back and began to search for a can of oil. They had every kind of greasy fluid imaginable but oil! After some debate among those more mechanically-minded, we decided to go to the next exit and hope there was a gas station (the sign ahead said that it was only 2 miles). When everyone got back in the car one of the guys said, "keep driving, but if the engine starts making a clicking noise, pull over right away". Hmmm. But we made it to the gas station fine and added a quart of oil (or something like that) and I ate at Arbey's for the first time since I was like 7. (Although I was told it was completely pointless since their shake machine was down and I couldn't try a Jamocha Shake). So we ended up making it to Canton at exactly 7 (I think we only turned around 5 or 6 times). Of course it figures that the concert was delayed for an hour! FIF concerts bring out the coolest people (although I guess you would say most messed-up because you're probably normal, unlike me). The first band to play wasn't even a real band (I think). They were horrible. They even said so: "so you guys bored out of your minds yet?". The second band was Ace Troubleshooter, and they were a pretty good Christian rock band. Then John Ruben came out. I'd never heard him, and after last night I never want to hear him again! He's a white Christian rapper, but he is absolutely horrible! (Darrell, you're way better than him, if that gives you any indication). I think he has some mental/emotional issues to deal with. His only move was to stick one hand straight up in the air and bounce it up and down. He got very very frustrated when the entire crowd wasn't doing it during his songs. But after him was the much-anticipated FIF. This was my second time seeing them in concert and the first time where I was close enough to actually see them. It was great! Good old-fashioned ska/punk. There are 8 members in the band, and they all look to be older than the typical band members (though they could be younger than they look). They were all dressed up like nerds and dorks and the lead singer was wearing a boy-scout uniform with a Project 86 t-shirt underneath. They played some good old stuff and some new stuff. There was some great skanking and of course the mosh pit. All-in-all it was a great show. We left around 11 and had a pretty uneventful ride home (unless you count the fact that the car smelled like burning. At first we thought it might be the oil, but then decided it was probably only the break pads..heh). We made it back to GCC at 12:56 (4 minutes before curfew for us freshmen). It was more fun than a barrel of monkeys! Hopefully Emily will have some pictures so I can post them.

Yesterday a girl in my Fit/Well class asked me if I wanted a mint. I said sure, and then she pulled out this large tic-tac-like box that had spearmint skittles in them! Her dad's friend works for Mars as a developer or something, and so they get candy that isn't on the market yet. So I was one of the first few to try mint skittles! It was actually better than it sounds. Kinda like those green tic-tacs, but with the consistancy of a menthos. What will they think of next?

Want to see what my dorm room looks like? Click HERE For pictures of my friends click HERE and for pictures of Northern Hospitality click HERE

Yes, comments are back. People have been asking, so I thought I'd give it one more try. Please, if you like the webpage or have something you want to say about an article, don't just tell me, comment! I realize some of my articles are not really comment-centered topics, but on those that are, don't be shy!

Christina Stout. I don't know who she is, where she lives, or what she does for a living, but every time her name appears in my life I want to scream. I wouldn't say that I hate her; it's unfair to hate someone you haven't even met yet. But if there's anything that really annoys me in life, it's gotta be "SPAM". I'm not talking about Spiced, Preserved, Artificial Meat; I'm talking about junk mail. I hate junk mail. No no no, I detest junk mail...I loath junk mail. Its pointlessness and utter waste confuses and infuriates me. It is unavoidable in the realm of email. Every week I receive free new vacations, am informed of fortunes I have won, and read about the latest miracle pill. Forwards are...well, don't get me started on them. Let's just say that I've seen them all and I do not think that I will be eternally cursed for not forwarding an email full of dancing babies and keyboard symbol picutres to 586 of my closest friends in 3 minutes. I also do not think that I am a horrible, back-stabing friend for not returning friendship emails. But all this is quite understandable. It is very difficult to sift through the mucky heaps of junk mail online. Regular mail is a different story altogether. Which brings me back to Christina. Christina presumably graduated from GCC last spring. She was the previous owner of my school mailbox. I am beginning to think that maybe she has some sort of psychological issues that she needs to work through. You see, for the first two weeks of every month my mailbox is flooded with mail. Normally this would be a joyous occasion. I thought that there could be nothing more depressing than an empty mailbox. Not so. Having one filled with mail that you discover is not your own is multiple times more frustrating! And it's not even regular mail! She has an obsession with catalogues! And it's not like she even gets cool ones like J. Crew or American Eagle or Gap or anything. No, I have a plethera of information (I think it's something like 15 catalogues/month) on leather briefcase sets, mallard duck stationary, and mahogany end tables to name a few. I do not know where I am going with this random, tangent-filled thought, but I will say that I am quite frustrated. I am sick of pulling catalogues from my mailbox, and I am upset because I could not use the adverb "tangential" in the last sentence to describe my ranting. My roomy has just informed me that I did not make up the word; it is an adverb to describe math vectors. Bah, I still think it is a cool word. Hmmm.....I hope this Christina girl doesn't have an obsession over buying encyclopedia sets too...!

It was 9:30 at night on a perfectly decent Sunday night. Who in their right minds would waste an hour and a half of that sacred social time at a Mid-Term study session? But as Dr. Mackey has said, it was time for us to "come out of the closet" here at GCC; we could be "closet nerds" no more. So I had just spent the past 90 minutes sitting in a classroom taking copious notes on important principles of effective teaching and discussing impressive terms such as "reciprocity of standardizations" and "socioeconomic stratifications". After having thoroughly reviewed the above said principles, along with many others, we were free to go. Approximately 50 students departed the classroom much like someone letting out a great sigh. As I walked outside, a rush of cold air met my face with joyous anticipation and my cheeks flushed at the rendezvous. I drew in a long breath, savoring the minty-crisp air that filled my lungs. My footsteps crunched over the last few leaves that lay shriveled up along the path. Yes, it was definately fall. An irrepresible grin spread accross my mouth as I took in another deep breath. You could almost smell the snow formulating in the air. Turning to my friend I remarked on the wonderful smell of snow in the air. She mentioned that her family had seen snow earlier today. I remembered that she lives very close to here, and my heart skipped at the news. Soon I would be walking to a class or sitting at my desk staring absentmindedly out my window. And that first magical snowfall would quietly drift from dreams down the soft grey sky into my reality. Then it will not be withered and wrinkled leaves that would crunch under my feet, but fresh, clear, newborn snow. I love this time of year!

The Mirror by me
I stare at my foe with an icy glare
That when returned, chills me to the bone.
I have faced this enemy many a time
And I'd rather be left alone.
Its grip is death; its words like stone;
Its countenance is quite clear.
It whispers words I often think
And phrases I'd rather not hear.
I don't want to believe the thoughts to be true,
But they run through my mind as fact.
They sink so deep--an anchor tumbling down;
With cunning they swiftly attack.
My foe knows the time and the place
And what areas are best to start.
More deeply do I believe the lies
As deeper the dagger stabs my heart.
But in the darkest hour of night
When all hope seemed to be gone.
He came and brought a ray of light;
A hope to carry on.
My King of Kings, my Warrior Strong,
My Help in times of need.
He took the dagger from my heart
That caused my soul to bleed.
I saw the sun shine silver-bright
From my One and Only Christ Begotten.
He showed me life like I had lost--
Truths that I had long forgotten.
"You are so special," He said to me.
Nothing could make you more great.
And nothing could stab my heart so deep
When it's yourself you begin to hate."
Softly He whispered, "I love you my child."
And with those words my tears would never be dried.
"How much so?" I murmured, wiping my eyes.
"This much," said He as He stretched out His arms and died.

Northern Hospitality
Tonight was Northern Hospitality, the Freshmen Semi-Formal dance. It was definitely one of my favorite class activities. Not only did I get the chance to dress up and look nice (hopefully I'll have pictures up on the website soon), but it was also a really great night. They decorated all of South Lobby in gold stars, white Christmas lights, and black, silver, and gold balloons. Upstairs they had a live band playing jazz and swing music. There are a lot of talented dancers in my class! Downstairs we had DJ Rig (who, by day, is one of my mentor group leaders) playing for us. There was a lot of "old-school" stuff like "Ice Ice Baby" "Can't Touch This" as well as some newer stuff I hadn't heard in a long time (anyone remember Mambo No. 5?). But he also played a lot of newer songs as well. All in all it was a great evening and one of my most fun dancing experiences. What a nice break from all my Mid-Term studies!

Oxymoron: Greek for "cleverly stupid" or "absurd on purpose"
Have you ever had a day where you can't quite figure yourself out? I can't decide if this is an absolutely marvelous day or if it's simply horrible. Strange how life can be such a huge oxymoron.

No, there is nothing wrong with your internet. I took the post reply option away. "Why?" you ask. Well, simply because no one was posting! And considering I have a very fragile self-esteem, I thought it might be best to just get rid of them and then I will have no idea if my website is the coolest thing around or the least visited site on the web. If you would like to respond to something I have written, please feel free to email me. I always welcome comments & suggestions. And I suppose if enough people ask, I'll put the feature back on. Until then, happy reading!