Workus Refusus, or "Senioritis," as it is more commonly known as, is a dangerous but often overlooked virus in the young people of America. Often infecting high schoolers in their Junior or Senior year, it causes unknown damage to both the grades and career chances of many unsuspecting victims. Measures such as limiting study halls and creating required Senior classes have been taken to curb the affects of the disease. However, recent research has shown that we may be dealing with a far greater force than we realized. Studies reveal that the Senioritis virus will often lay dormant in the home environment even after the teenager has vacated the area for higher learning. Upon re-entry to this environment, the unsuspecting victim is attacked again with a renewed force. Take myself as an example. Ambitious goals were set for this week-long break. I had three books to read, topping over 1,000 pages. One book needs to be read by this next Tuesday. On top of that, there is a 5 page paper due next Thursday (which will be a good portion of my grade). My my ambitions were no match for the virus, which runs particularly strong in my household. On my 6th day home, just 50 measly pages have been read (not even an hour's worth of work). Even this article--informative and eye-opening--is merely a disguise to rob myself of 15 precious reading minutes. And on that note, I am ending this post. I certainly hope you have kept up-to-date on your antibiotics this holiday season.

Today was Mom's 51st birthday. In honor of this joyous occasion, we "Sassys" did something we are rarely allowed to do: go out together in public. We ate at this great Chinese/Japanese restaurant. It only took until the appetizers for Dad to spill something. I got duct sauce on my wool sweater sleeve. Mom thought the restaurant phone was someone's cell phone and looked around annoyedly for someone to answer it. The waiter asked what we wanted for drinks and Dad gave him our appetizer order. He then asked if we wanted to share that, and Dad just repeated the order to him. Needless to say, it's a good thing we didn't get anything alcoholic. Although Mom was really excited that we "ate with Dean Camen" (he was at a table on the other side of the restaurant). Well, we're gonna go attempt presents/cake...let's hope we don't burn down the house in the process. I wouldn't put it past us at this point! =)

It's so good to be back in New England. Ah, the land where turning signals don't exist and "left turn yield" is definitely not a part of normal vocabulary. Today I got to shovel the driveway for the first time of the season. Later on it's off to get my snow tires put on. Then hopefully *crosses fingers* more reading accomplished and the celebration of mom's birthday. This vacation is flying by!

A little tip for Grove City College trustees. Don't name things yourselves! Get help...people from the outside world. C'mon...we're nerds...creativity is not our strength!
The reason for my little outburst is a recent email I received regarding the naming of our new building for most of the liberal arts classes. Up until now it has been known as "NAB" (New Accademic Building). Creative, eh? Well, that doesn't sound too bad compared to the official name. For a while they were advertising the opportunity to name classrooms or the actual building through donations (for $75,000 you could have a classroom named after you and for a mere $5 million, the building was yours to name). But the college has given up hope on that, and has taken matters into it's own hands. The new accademic building that is replacing Calderwood will be called.....drumroll please.....The Calderwood Hall of Arts & Letters. C'mon people! I know we're not the most exciting college in the world, but couldn't we be at least a little creative?

Well so far Thanksgiving vacation has been....well, one big car ride I guess. It took almost exactly 11 hours to get home...not too bad. And Jonathan even brought some comedy CDs, so it wasn't too terribly monotonous. Yesterday, after church, Dani, Jamie, Jillian & I all went out to the seacoast to see Laura & Landis (our former youth pastor), their golden retriever, and their new baby boy, Silas. He was so precious! Definately an adorable baby. Then it was down to the North Shore to visit Endicott and Gordon colleges. Lots of fun times w/ friends. So good to be back!

Elizabeth and I are totally baffled as to why Despair.com has yet to hire us. Personally, I think we have some really great material here. Oh well, maybe we'll start our own website. Depression.com--handled with carelessness and sealed with a kick in the pants. Has a nice ring to it, eh? Anyways, here's a sampling of our quotes:
Revenge: when life gives you lemons, throw them at the people who hurt you
Competition: when you can't beat 'em, use a stick--it helps a lot
Politeness: because you're too much of a sucker to say no
Friendship: just because people are nice to you, doesn't mean that deep down inside they want to rip your guts out
Disease: some things really are better to give than to receive
Conspiracy: two bitter minds, endless possibilites

*disclaimer: we are not really as bitter as this post appears, we are just most creative when bitter*

Tonight I told Emily that when I write my memoires, that this chapter of my life will be titled "My Roommate, the Crack Fiend". What would this chapter of your life be called?

Well after 13 stressfull weeks, they're finally releasing me to go home. Kinda sounds like rehab, huh? "New 13-week Program guaranteed to help you quit all those nasty habits like having a life, living without stress, and finding joy in the little things". Well, anyways, I have a 12 hour trip to look forward to this time. But hey, I have company! I will be getting to know Faith, Jon, and...Jon reeeeally well over the next 2 weekends. Nothing like driving alllll the way across PA and then allllll the way up the coast in a tiny car to bring people closer. I'll be making the trip 3 times in the next month. Should be fun times. But I'm sure I'll have some great posts during/after break *crosses fingers*. It's gonna be a busy week! So what are you guys (or girls I guess since guys don't normally post) looking forward to most about Thanksgiving break?

Thought this was kinda cute:

The Gospel According to Seuss
One day God said, "This is what I will do:
I'll send down my son. I'll send him to you
To clear up this humpity bumpity hullaballoo.
His name will be Christ and he'll never wear shoes.
His pals will all call him 'The King of the Jews.'"

He didn't come in a plane.
He didn't come in a Jeep.
He didn't come in a pouch
Of a high jumping Voveep.

He rode on the back of a black Sassatoo
Which is the blackiest creature you ever could view.

He rode to Jerusalem -- home of the grumpity Jews
Where false prophets were worshiped -- some even in twos.
There was Murray VonMyrrh and Ghengis Vovooz --
The one you could worship by taking a snooze.

Christ spoke from a mound
Which is a pile of ground.
People gathered around
Without making a sound.

Thus he spake:

"Sin in socks
Socks full of sin.
How do we quiet
This Jehovaty din?
Do unto others as they do unto you.
That includes you, young Timothy Foo."

One pharisee said to another he knew,
"What shall we do with this uppity Jew?"
"Let's wash him in wine and make him all clean
And into Sam Zittle's crucifiction machine."

Twirl the Gawhirl
And release the Galeese
And in go the nails
As fast as you please.

And it is said
That he said as he bled,
"Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.
For they walk throughout life in toe crampity shoes."

Do you?

Why My Laptop is Girl by Me
I was not there for your electronic birth--A technological miracle, to be sure.
Another PC brought into the world;
A brand new laptop is what you were.

I was not there for your first steps,
When you learned to perform those basic tasks.
You opened files and surfed the web--
You'd do anything your maker asked.

But here you are--a teenager now.
You fuss and pout with all your breath
Till screens freeze up and I get mad.
You simply flash a blue error screen of death.

That's why I'm convinced you must be a girl.
There's no other gender that you could be.
Because boys aren't this fussy or fickle or mean
And they certainly aren't PMSy!

We have this strange mother-daughter link,
But what does the future for us hold?
With age might come maturity,
But that's no good if you're too old.

Such is the life of any PC,
Only useful in its adolescence
When things are never really simple,
Sometimes life just doesn't make sense!

IV RETREAT: FALL
*frisbee
*fun
*falling asleep (unfortunately)
*Five Iron Frenzy! (thanx Katie for a great wake-up call)
*food
*foot-washing ceremony w/ the Exec team (special memories)
*finally winning Candy Land =)
*fast card games
*frustrating scrabble (fa, uh, ew, and ho are not words!)
*funny phrases from the Risk players
*photos, photos, & more photos!
*fantabulous friendships strengthened
*fellowship in worship & the Word
*finally getting off campus!

Creative Writing's second big assignment: an 8-10 page short story. Again, too long to post, so just IM/email me if you're interested in reading it

Internet tests are funny
CONGRATS!
You're a Jello Shot! Quick, painless, and wriggly, you tend to get people messed up without delay! You're an absolute essential for any party, just like toilets.
I'm a Jello Shot!, discover your ALcoHoLiC personality!

My attempt at a prose poem for Creative Writing class:
War of the Worlds
The unnatural blocks, columns, and cubes protruded from the flat landscape, thrusting their ugliness deep into the Earth’s core. At three a.m. the city is still. Nature has retaliated in protest of this filthy intrusion. A white blanket of silence was delicately placed over the steel, asphalt, concrete, and brick by frosty nymphs under Winter’s care. He grinned, displaying his icy teeth in triumph.
But three a.m. turned to four; four to five; and soon the plot was discovered. Snowplows, like angry orange bugs, devoured the beautiful ribbons of white, leaving behind a slushy brown trail of defeat. Salt, sand, and shovels marched in innumerous forces, dumping their casualties in large mounds which skirted the edges of sidewalks and porch steps. The city was alive, efficiently removing the intrusion on its habitat. Humanity 1, Nature 0.

Today's program has been brought to you by the letter F

I don't know what it is, but the coolest things happen to Emily & I on Sundays. Perhaps they fumigate our room with crack.
*Emily and I both decide to do work
*We yell at my CD player, which doesn't seem to want to play anything but Incubus (mental note: buy a CD cleaner at Wal-Mart)
*Neither accomplishes much work since we both stop every 30 seconds or so to check email, websites, away messages, etc.
*Emily goes to do laundry; I sit on my bed trying to write a story
*I use some lotion because my skin is dry
*Emily complains of the smell
*Emily gives me dryer sheets to sniff
*Elizabeth IMs me...study break!
*I decide that I have the attention span of an ADD goldfish
*Elizabeth decides to "ask Jeeves" just how long that is
*Normal goldfish (is it fish or fishes?) have an attention span of 3-9 seconds, depending on the source you check
*Emily makes a poster for Becca
*It is pink with green butterflies and balloons
*The room smells so strong it's dizzying
*We start laughing uncontrollably
*Emily starts chucking happy meal sized stuffed animals at me
*Bored with that, she starts throwing them at the ceiling
*Ceiling tile falls in her eyes
*She starts playing catch with herself
*I put up like 8 away messages in 3 minutes about all the crazy stuff going on in our room
*Becca & Malinda each come over to find out what all the fun commotion going on is
*We laugh some more, and decide maybe to do work
*The dryer sheet affect begins to wear off
*Emily gets out her Civ Arts and reads
*I type this instead because, well, the goldfish thing was already addressed
*Emily laughs over her mispronunciation of Abbot Suger (soo-jey) for sugar
*She eats a smartie for consolation

"Skippy, what's for dinner, I'm starving!" I clicked on the campus website and checked out Saturday night's menu.

"Ground beef stroganoff and spaghetti stratta," I replied, groaning at the thought of another pasta-filled meal. We both agreed that we were much too hungry and our stomachs were much too offended with us to eat another “Bon Appetite” meal. Besides, Hicks was a good five minute walk from our room, and the temperature justified eating ice cream to warm up.

“I have money—let’s go out,” Emily suggested. Not one to pass up an opportunity to get off campus, I quickly agreed. Our first challenge was figuring out who could come and when we were going. Eventually Emily & I bundled up and headed out the door. We fought the horizontal wind as we ran from Harker to the Gee. Unfortunately we were met with another obstacle: there was a line at the ATM machine. Apparently, it is the cool place to hang out on Saturday nights. So after the six people in front of me slowly made their withdrawals, I was finally able to grab some cash and we were on our way.

We had to walk all the way to row F (eff!) in Siberia, and by then even my New England blood was starting to congeal. But we found my car, and quickly started it. As the engine purred to life, the radio blared commercials for condoms and a “smoothly refreshing beer (drink responsibly)”. We had broken away from the Bubble. Within a couple blocks we were out of sight of the college and my brakes were finally working normally.

Of course the radio didn’t start playing music until we were a block from Perkins (and even then it was some horrible techno remix of a Linkin Park song), and the car never really heated up. But as we entered the restaurant, we didn’t seem to notice.

“Should I get coffee? Maybe I’ll just get decaff,” I debated with myself aloud.

“You don’t like coffee,” Emily stated.

“Yeah, but I’m cold and I have to work tonight,” I countered.

“They have hot chocolate. Maybe I’ll get coffee.”

“Should you be having coffee?” I asked, but just then the waitress came up.

“Can I get you girls a coke...or some coffee?” she asked, a slight hint of a Southern accent peeking through the question.

“I’ll have a coffee,” I said. Emily echoed the order.

After several minutes of debate on our dinner choices, we finally settled on hot melts and placed our orders. Sipping on our liquid caffeine, we talked about what most girls our age would discuss: boys, friends, family, and school. By the end of the dinner our stomachs were full and our minds were drowsily waking. We struggled to make our brains work long enough to figure out the tip, and then headed back to the Grove for more delightful hours of studying, glad for a few hours of escape.